I have not written in a really long time for me. Life is busy, and I am tired...sometimes I feel like I have nothing really to say. Teaching has been really hard the last few years. People don't really want to hear about that though. It is easier just to act like everything is great.
Over the last few years, Julie has lost multiple students due to health-related issues. Each time her school has come together and supported one another, the truth is teachers should not be outliving their students. I have heard that said often about parents when they lose a child. Of course, I am not comparing a parent's loss with a teacher's, but I have seen the impact there is grief there that we must work through.
This morning while I was working out Julie came down to tell me that a past student had tragically passed away. There was an accident. In the moment, it felt like it was not real, I didn't really process it, and probably still haven't. This student was a part of my first and favorite class I have ever taught. They were the most incredible group. A small class of about 45 kids who had largely gone to school together from Kindergarten with a few move-ins and outs over the years. I had them for 8th grade and then again for 12th. This student moved away after his grade 10 year, but we are a small community and updates on how the family was doing always got back to us. He graduated last year.
I remember the grade 8 year, the effort he and his friends made to scare me with their stunts. The positive energy that filled the room when he was in it. An easy-going nature. It is wild how little memories of moments come back when you think about them—even just the moments of laughter. A student gone too soon. A journey only just started.
I often question the purpose of these tragedies. Young lives lost, and hardships kids and families face. Why? I am not certain there is an answer, but I know we will have memories of moments. Moments of laughter, mischief, and community. Friendships that are lasting and stories that we can tell. I don't have the right words to comfort anyone right now, but I will hold on to those moments and share them.
A life lost far too soon.
It hardly seems fair
A light so bright extinguished too soon
Darkness moves in
Hope comes in memories
The light is dim at first
Others add kindling to the fire
There isn't an answer
No clear why
But the memories remain
Hold close to them.
Let them light the fire.