top of page

Broken

Around two years ago I 
broke
Once confident and whole
A shattered reflection was all I saw
You are great but
You are impressive but
Your are so valued but
Never enough

The compliments come but
I don't hear them
I don't feel them
thanks but

I spent this year gluing things back together 
Celebrating Excellence 
Distractions from my doubt
We glued the mirror back together 
Piece 
by 
Piece 
They showed me maybe
 I was 
alright.
I took a risk 
Time
Thinking 
Stress
Decisions
This time I didn't break
Cracks are there
maybe
bigger
But this time I see the way out
The vase can only fall so many times from the shaky shelf before
we 
find 
a 
new 
shelf
 

The last few years have been really hard. I love my work and what I do but that little nagging voice, you are not enough, is always there. So I learn and try new things. I look at ways to celebrate my students so that hopefully they don't feel this. This... never enough.

Lately I have been finding myself stumble upon reading that asks us as teachers to recognize the unique awesome that each of our students possess, their excellence. This last week I had another interview, in it I talked about how important this work is to me. The why has always been the success of my students. Now it is more than that. I don't just want them to have success, I want them to thrive, to find their excellence and utilize it to lift where and when it is needed.

Two days ago I read a students work and for the first time tears came to my eyes. Their writing was a simple poem. Not the assigned task but one they thought they could be successful at. As I read the student reflected on why they treasure poetry, their struggles with writing, how poems just made sense, let them "be good at something". I don't know for a certainty why it hit me so hard. Maybe it was that connection of not ever feeling good at something, or that I recognized that for a moment I had helped, that in that moment the "you are a fraud" voice in my head crept away to the shadows as this students excellence shined bright.

I sat at my desk and wiped away a couple of tears and the student looked back at me and smiled.

The voice is not gone. The "how are you doing?" questions will continue to come and I will continue to say "Oh great" knowing I am not but maybe tomorrow I will be.

One step at a time.

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Too Soon

I have not written in a really long time for me. Life is busy, and I am tired...sometimes I feel like I have nothing really to say. Teaching has been really hard the last few years. People don't reall

We don't talk about it

This week in Grade 9, we started to dig into #ProjectSpeak. An inquiry-based learning opportunity where students identify a topic they want to discuss and share with others based on their feeling that

Comments


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page